Who’s Kinky?

Some of the uptightest (unfortunate word choice, perhaps) badass frumies I know are ftm shomer negiah – ba’al teshuvas. They’re welcome here too, of course, and I hope this becomes their preferred trans shiduch site. Surely, there can’t be that many other sites, can there? I know that Frumster.com does not yet have a category of the transgendered. Anyway, back to the point I was making. Is transgender a kink by definition, and should it be included in under the general rubric of kink; whaddya think?


17 responses to “Who’s Kinky?

  1. I ended up visiting wiki to get the official explanation on the term “transgender,” and this what wiki had to say about it. “Transgender is the state of one’s “gender identity” (self-identification as male, female, both or neither) not matching one’s “assigned gender” (identification by others as male or female based on physical/genetic sex). Transgender does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation — transgender people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual or asexual.”

    I don’t think that transgender equals kinky.

  2. you don’t think transgender equals kinky, fair enough, it’s a difficult thing to define anyway. I know a woman who started out as a man, married with kids etc. Decided he can’t go on any longer denying he’s really turned on to men, so leaves family and comes out as a gay man. Goes the whole nine yards and has a sex change operation, is now a woman. Then discovers he/she prefers women after all, and is now in a stable lesbian relationship with another beautiful woman, and they’ve adopted a girl, blah blah. Why am I telling you this? Well, because this person I’m talking about is afronted by the merest suggestion that she is, in any way, shape or form kinky….

    Nu, so, go figure.

  3. It sounds that s/he is more confused than anything else. That was quite a journey to travel to discover what you truly like or dislike.

  4. this is the a great site.,and i hope it gets well known. i am frum married and have a frum slave wife. it began as a game and she really is in to it now. she looks like your typical frum wife,jeans skirt ,hair covered. underneath is a frum slave that knows her place and serves as expected. please let me know if anyone is interested in our story.

  5. I would love to hear the story! I dream of such stories to come true for me!

  6. It stared when we were going out. My frum slave only wanted to serve me, do my laundry, do anything at all. I don’t know how descriptive sexually we are allowed to be here, but she was a slave in that area as well. If permitted I will tell it all. A short story. We just spent a few days at a hotel and she knows the rules. No panties and no bra during vacation. She was dressed as a pure frum wife and nothing underneath except her,tatoo on her low back and her hood ring. It was amazing at dinner ,a nice elegant dress,hair covered,collar, and my slave underneath.at night we went for a walk with her leash and she loved it. I really have a lot to tell, please explain the limits. Thanks

  7. Danin,

    The rules are simple, don’t be rude, don’t be offensive, no foul language. If you would like your story to be a post rather than a comment, you can either e-mail the story to kinkever@gmail.com or post it as a comment.

    I personally would like to hear your story!

  8. Our story is long, so I will tell it as time goes on. Basically my wife/slave is a full time teacher in a frum day school during school hours and a shifcha when i get home and on weekends. Her favorite on Friday night is to be roped to the bed face down, naked while I treat her behind with spanking and inserting different objects. She also wears her nipple clamps under her shabbos dress.

    Are there any other frum kinky couples or singles out there that understand us?

  9. I know of other couples, frum and otherwise.

  10. What an interesting blog–like a poster above I’ve always maintained a separation between Judaism and BDSM. The integration here is more than a little compelling. To answer the question above, yes, there are other frum couples that understand. Well, one, at least–us. Married a little less than 15 years, 3 kids, shomer shabbat, kashrut, taharat hamishpacha, BDSM/power exchange the whole time, deeper into her submission/my dominance all the time. Our emphasis is on sexual control (at the moment she hasn’t been allowed to cum since July but that’s another story. Or is it?). Like, I suspect, most, we haven’t had much (any) opportunity to discuss BDSM with observant/knowledgeable Jews–this site seems more than a little interesting.

    Hasn’t been much activity here–anyone still here? Where’s everyone from?

    One other question–what is the history of this blog? It was recently linked from kinkyjews.com

  11. mongojerry2 your story is quite interesting. This control of orgasms, how does it work on a practical level? What do you get out of it? What does she get out of it? After so long, doesn’t it just get to be the usual thing and stop being interesting?

  12. danin6 — please tell us more about your adventures. Thanks.

  13. Hal–

    On a practical level she is not allowed to cum without permission. When something is happening that gets her close she asks for permission. If I gave her permission she could bring herself off in prvate but I don’t. Obviously this is ultimately predicated on trust but that’s always true of BDSM arrangements and I have no doubt that she has not cheated (except the one time she did and she promptly told me about it). We started down this path about 3 years ago and it’s been great.

    I get Dom rush out of it and she gets sub rush. 🙂 Of course there are a few obvious benefits to keeping her sexually charged ;). Additionally, it serves to extend our kinky sexual play beyond individual encounters. Even after a given scene is over my control over her sexuality continues which provides an ongoing charge even between scenes (and being busy parents with plentyof vanilla real life there’s lots of between scenes).

    There are indeed times when it gets not interesting for a while but we can get it charged back up right quick, especially with her being aroused without release for so long. This current period is by far the longest we’ve ever gone–it’s an experiment of sorts–no one should misunderstand–I love getting her off and really don’t usually go beyond a few weeks at most without doing so but as I said, we’re currently playing with some new ideas that have kept her unfulfilled as it were since July.

    For more info, you might look here:

  14. As i have written,we are frum as well ,but my wife is a pure shifcha. We have been to events posted in kinky jews .com and really have two lives. My shifcha is a total sub,and even calls me in the middle of her teaching at school to get her orders for the day. Please feel free to ask anything. I love telling about this ,and I wish there were more frum couples here

  15. I want to add my $.02 to Reb Mongojerry’s comments. It’s one of my favorite ploys as a Dom to deny orgasms as an act of both control and sadism. Especially when a woman is used to regular masturbation. So, when I meet someone new who wants to be considered for play or ownership, I’m likely to say, “OK, for the next 90 days don’t even ask me me for permission to cum. We’ll revisit this when you’re ready.”

    Of course, I never actually spell out clearly to her what ‘ready’ means, so she fantasizes about discovering my secrets and reasons and logic. It heats her brain up nicely. Which gives me an excuse for giving her more cooling rituals to perform. Needless to say, none of them work. Sadism when practised with humor, I find, brings the most satisfaction. BDSM without a grain of laughter is too grave and heavy. (If you can’t make a Choizik of yourself while hitting a bottom with a flogger, you’re asking for the Sitra Achara to join) Even bloodletting sadism is redeemed through levity. As G.K.Chesterton noted wryly, “Satan fell by force of gravity.”

  16. I would love to speak to other frum women who are bottoms. It would be nice to share and learn. I always feel somewhat guilty thinking that I am violating halacha.

  17. So mongojerry2, how is it going with you and your wife/submissive? Is she still waiting for an orgasm. If not, how long did she wait, and what made you decide to end the waiting? How did it go, or how is it going? Would you and she do it again? What would you-all do differently?

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