Daily Archives: August 9, 2007

Needah and Dominance

The rules concerning menstruation and needah (as I understand it) require the woman to tell the man when she has become needah and they can’t have sex, then to tell him when she has dunked in the mikvah and they can have sex. If there is a dom/sub aspect to the relationship and the woman is dominant, this works out nicely — she tells him when they can and cannot have sex. If, however, there is a dom/sub aspect to the relationship and the man is dominant, it doesn’t fit in so well to have the woman (submissive, slave, sextoy) tell the man (dominant, master) when they can and cannot have sex. So, how do people handle this?

One approach is to say that she is just providing factual info — her flow has started, she has dunked. What he does with that info is up to him. This is like an SM situation where the bottom tells the top “I am getting close to my limit.” The top might ease off or stop, or might decide to drive the bottom to safeword. The problem here is that if both of the people are observant, then clearly the dom is not going to decide to have sex with the sub when she is needah, so we are back to her effectively telling him when they can and cannot have sex. So again, how do people handle this?

Looking forward to hearing people’s thoughts and discussion.

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When I was a kid…

It was common knowledge that the Cherem – Excommunicatory Ban against polygamy instituted by R. Gershom* was only going to be enforced for One Thousand Years. How come no one announced when it ended, and how come no one celebrated?

*German rabbi, scholar, and religious poet Gershom ben Judah (ca. 950-1028) exerted a great influence on Jewish social institutions. He is also known as Rabbenu Gershom and Meor Ha-Golah, “Light of the Exile.”