Category Archives: BDSM and Halacha

BDSM in Jewish wedding

Imagine that you are Jewish and observant, and that you are into BDSM, both domination/submission and physical play. Imagine further that you have found a partner with complimentary interests, that you have been seeing each other for a while, and have decided to get married. Mazal tov! So you are planning a traditional Jewish wedding.

Would you want the submissive/bottom person to wear something BDSM-ish during the ceremony? Would you want them to wear a collar (concealed)? Would you want them to have something sexual or uncomfortable/painful going on under their clothes? What about the dominant/top person? Continue reading

Advertisements

Another Question

 

The seminary I attended tried very hard to instill the concept of tzniut (modesty) among the girls. Side point, I have this paranoid idea that the seminary failed with me, or maybe it is I who failed the seminary? Aside frrom learning the laws of tzniut as they are relevant to clothes a woman wears, we also learned about behaving modestly in a privacy of our houses. One of the rav stated that it would be highly immodest for a person to be in a living room wearing pajama; reason being is that there are probably Torah books in the living room, and it would be disrespectful and immodest to ward holy books to walk around less than fully clothed. Does that mean that a couple can never start foreplay in the living room before taking it to the bedroom? Does being frum equal to sex in a bedroom only?

Question

Why is tattooing oneself is prohibited, but branding is allowed?  Either choice of body modification will leave a permanent mark on the skin.

Needah and Dominance

The rules concerning menstruation and needah (as I understand it) require the woman to tell the man when she has become needah and they can’t have sex, then to tell him when she has dunked in the mikvah and they can have sex. If there is a dom/sub aspect to the relationship and the woman is dominant, this works out nicely — she tells him when they can and cannot have sex. If, however, there is a dom/sub aspect to the relationship and the man is dominant, it doesn’t fit in so well to have the woman (submissive, slave, sextoy) tell the man (dominant, master) when they can and cannot have sex. So, how do people handle this?

One approach is to say that she is just providing factual info — her flow has started, she has dunked. What he does with that info is up to him. This is like an SM situation where the bottom tells the top “I am getting close to my limit.” The top might ease off or stop, or might decide to drive the bottom to safeword. The problem here is that if both of the people are observant, then clearly the dom is not going to decide to have sex with the sub when she is needah, so we are back to her effectively telling him when they can and cannot have sex. So again, how do people handle this?

Looking forward to hearing people’s thoughts and discussion.