SHIDUCHIN

WHAT IS A SHIDUCH?

The Rashba, (Shlomo b. Aderet, 1235 – 1310) a medieval, Spanish rabbi, halakhist, and Talmudist once said, “The only honest money I ever earned in my life was the fee I was paid for arranging a Shiduch – Match.” A shiduch may begin as a suggestion from a family member, friend or by someone in the business of matching singles. Such a person is called a shadchan, and acts as a go-between, facilitating communications between interested parties, eliminating some of the challenges and pitfalls of the dating process.

IS MAKING SHIDUCHIN EASY?

shifcha answered thus: There is a famous midrash, (Genesis Rabbah 88:4) A Roman woman asked Rabbi Akiva how long it took for G-d to create the world. “Six days,” she was told. “What has He been doing since then?” “He’s been arranging marriages,” answered the rabbi.

Unimpressed, she claimed that was hardly a Divine occupation, and that she, too, could do it – for she owned many slaves and could pair them off with little difficulty. Rabbi Akiva warned her not to think it was so easy: “It is as difficult for Him as dividing the Red Sea.”

Nevertheless, she immediately went about pairing off her slaves. The next day, they appeared before her – one with a cracked forehead, another with an eye knocked out, another with a broken leg. “What’s the matter with you?” she asked them. One female said, “I don’t want him”; another male said, “I don’t want her”; and so on. Forthwith she sent to Rabbi Akiva and professed: “There is no god like your G-d and your Torah is true. What you told me is quite correct.”

kinkever answered thus: The hapless Yeshiva Bochur was being prepped for his first real-time date with a real-life bona-fide girl. He was frenzied with nervousness. The shadchan was trying to soothe his nerves, “Just be cool,” was the advice, “be calm, natural.”

“What shall I say – what should I talk about?” the bochur wanted to know.

“It’s always safe,” advised the shadchan, “to talk of the weather, family and a little hashkafa – philosophy.”

The two prospects were thrown together in a room and left to talk. Our yeshiva bochur fired the opening shot, “The season is uncomfortably hot,” he began.

“I actually prefer this tropical weather,” she responded.

“Do you have an uncle?” he asked

“No,” came the monosyllabic reply.

“If you’d actually had an uncle,” the bocher quizzed her earnestly, “do you think he would have felt the same way about the weather as you do?”

WHY KINKY SHIDUCHIN?

Well, we need kinky shiduchin because we are kinky Jews, with peculiar, special and unusual needs. We have had a hard time finding a sympathetic shadchan with whom we could freely discuss our needs, wants, and desires. It was impossible to find one before whom we did not have to pretend, hide, or deny who we are or what we are looking for. While there is a wide range of Orthodox dating services available for pareve – vanilla dating, there is none for the minei u’bei – kinky ones. And that is why we are here. We are here to facilitate shiduchin between likeminded singles for the purpose of marriage.

PROCESS AND RULES

All interested singles are asked to e-mail kinkever@gmail.com, with a subject line “Looking for shidduch.” You should receive a prompt reply detailing the process. Please note, we are not a hook-up service, we are not here to provide dating services for fun or play, and we don’t offer escort services. Do not waste our time and resources. If you are a genuine candidate for a shiduch you will have people who can vouch for your character. You will have a shul you attend. You will be involved in Jewish communal life in one shape or another. Be prepared to share information about yourself, knowing it will be treated in the strictest confidence.